went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
