like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
