So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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