i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
pop tarts are not kleenex
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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