i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
