just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
