He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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