If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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