all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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