Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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