I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
