my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
