I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
