new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
