no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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