I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
