My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
