I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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