walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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