It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
