2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
