Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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