If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
