Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
