she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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