Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
