Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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