What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
