he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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