My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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