i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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