I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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