Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
