Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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