I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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