I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize