I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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