I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
