i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
