so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
