Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
