I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
