My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
