There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
