I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
