So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
