He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
