that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
