im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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