oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
