Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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