At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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