I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize