that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
