try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
