he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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