Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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