I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
